today this guy told me that my dress made my ass look fat (he sad it as a 'compliment') and obviously since it was 8:30 I was too tired for that shit and I replied with 'saying my ass is fat wont make your dick any bigger' and when he tried to defend himself saying his dick was big enough I told him that it doesn’t count if he shoved two thirds of it in his personality and he just looked at me completely defenseless AND BASICALLY I STOLE THAT LINE FROM HERE BUT I SLAYED
my biggest struggle in life is trying to make my eyeliner the same on both eyes
“I accept the nomination for the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge and I here by nominateBill Murray, Andrew Gar-Field of Dreams, and Dame Maggie Smith” (x)
Someone’s new hand’s sporting bloody knuckles (x)
“The marks humans leave are too often scars.”
You haven’t been paying attention.
when someone’s flaws are not flaws in your eyes, you’re fucked.
— mine. (via clatite)
I eat romantic shit up. If I were asked to just sit on a roof and look at the stars id probably internally combust
ok, new theory. maybe we should play so quietly, no one can hear us
well maybe we would sound so bad if some people didn’t try to play with big meaty claws
what did you say, punk?
WELL THESE CLAWS AIN’T JUST FOR ATTRACTING MATES
BRING IT ON OLD MAN, BRING IT ON
no people let’s be smart and bring it OFF
OH SO NOW THE TALKING CHEESE IS GONNA PREACH TO US
"Happiness isn’t defined by the way you look, it doesn’t just happen to the people who are under nine stone, it isn’t reserved for the pert-boobed and the great-haired, there’s someone for everyone. Even if you’re sixteen stone. Even if you’re mad. There’s a Finn out there for you.”
Shai: I just had a really great egg that morning.
Theo: An incredible egg.
TFIOS deleted scene (credit)